"California State University Channel Islands has received your final official transcript and I am pleased to let you know that you have met all the provisions and are now fully admitted to the entering class of Fall 2010"
That is it. The final letter, letting me know that I have been accepted. I received it today in the mail, in it's thin envelope. Why can't they send me a big envelope? Seriously, the sign that you've been accepted to a college is a big envelope and I only received these thin as paper regular postal sized white envelopes! I want a giant manila folder delivered to my house! Via owl!
But I digress.
Since I've read those words, it's started dripping...slowly...into my mind that I am leaving. It hadn't hit me before, I was completely indifferent to the whole matter, I felt nothing towards it as if it didn't exist. Now it's pricking at my mind. It could be worse I suppose, it could hit me like a bullet train. Things keep popping into my mind.
Happy things like the fact that I will be by my friend Chelsea Easley as she gets ready for her wedding, and closer to Andrew Jackson and near Hope (and Magic Mountain). When I get bored, I can drive to the ocean. THE OCEAN! It will be so close and I can go sit on the beach and listen to the waves rolling and smell the salt. And my school is amazing, I'm so excited to go there and meet new people.
Then the sad things. The friends I'm leaving behind, my parents, the Stirring, the kids from my Sunday School class, my co-workers...well, some of them. And I'm leaving Chelsey behind for a month, but I'll be closer to her than I would be in Redding, so I guess she's halfway between the sad column and the happy one.
I'll be thinking about something and then it'll flicker in my mind. I'm leaving.
For the first time.
It's exciting!
And scary!
And soon!!
I don't feel anything right now, I'm just recalling what I've felt in the past few hours. I'm sure it will pop into my head tonight, and tomorrow, and until I leave.
Because I'm leaving...
I'm leaving...
Crazy!!
Only UCSD gave me a big envelope. It even says on the envelope "HERE'S YOUR BIG ENVELOPE!" The other ones just gave me small ones that said I was accepted. Maybe that's why I chose UCSD--they actually gave me a big envelope.
ReplyDeleteIt is weird to leave. It is weirder to come back for a couple months and leave again. The whole thing is weird--to live somewhere else for 9 months out of the year, yet call someplace else home. And once you get there, make new friends, start getting into the groove of your new life, when you come home, you'll miss being there. And when you go back, you'll miss being here. And the cycle then of ALWAYS missing something starts. That's what sucks more than finals week.
You get used to it though.
P.S. You spelled my name wrong. I'm not talking to you for thirty seconds starting... NOW! Grrr....
Wait... so you're not happy to be closer to me?
ReplyDeleteI'm happy to be closer, but I'm sad that I won't be Close.
ReplyDelete