Miss Peregrine's Home for Unusual Children by Ransom Riggs 352 pages (1-20)
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Like an Avalanche
Saturday, August 4, 2012
The Hike
I need to write this story so that I will never forget.
Monday July 23, 2012
The night before at church Ryan Keller had told me about a hike in the morning. He said they were leaving at 8:00 in the morning to go to the Filmore Punch Bowls. Jon and I had done that hike before but not all the way. We got about two hours in, stopped for lunch, and then decided to head back because I was tired and it was very hot. Thinking about going again, especially that early, did not tempt me. When I arrived home from church and went to bed I had no intentions of doing the hike the next day.
In the morning around 8:00 I woke up to the noise of people moving around the house. I got up and joined them. Jessica Shakely, my roommate, and her friend Jessica White were getting breakfast, all dressed for the hike. Lizzy was up too, and she decided she wanted to join them. The two of us walked into our room and I felt that I should go on the hike with them. "I want to go," I told Lizzy, "but I don't want to struggle in front of them". She reassured me that she would be with me and help me make it through the hike, so I changed and got ready to hike. Everyone showed up at our house to carpool. Altogether at the house we had Jessica, Jessica, Lizzy, Lacie, Alexis, Brandon, Chris, Alex, Justin and myself. We got lunch ready, packed tons of water, and went into the yard to pray. Together we formed a circle and prayed for protection and strength on our hike. Then we gathered and took a picture, thinking ahead of doing a before and after shot of our group. Before leaving Alexis decided not to go on the hike for personal reasons, and since we had to pick up Mike on our way we were split into two perfect groups of 5 girls and 5 guys. After an hour drive to Filmore we arrived at the trail head and got ready. Chris was already having problem, due to a condition he has which causes his body not to sweat. The sun was high and the day was already beginning to become very warm. Realizing this, and since he was wearing jeans, he took a knife and cut his pants to make shorts. When we had all applied sunscreen we took off down the trail. The majority of the first part of the trail is downhill, and easy due to the clear trail markings. After about an hour of the nice clear hike we reached the rock wall. Now, it's not exactly a rock wall, but it's a steep hill with large rocks and boulders you have to maneuver down. I was in front of everyone and go to the bottom first, followed closely by Alex and Lizzy. When we reached the bottom, the trail ended. The rest of the way was an old creek bed covered with boulders that you have to climb and jump through in order to get to the main destination, a large waterfall about an hour and a half journey ahead. The two Jessica's caught up and we began to hike through the rocky terrain. After awhile we reached a clear area and decided to take a break and wait for the others to catch up. Drinking water and taking pictures we relaxed for a little while. When Mike and Lacie caught up they informed us that Lacie was having a hard time and was not feeling great. Then Brandon and Justin caught up with us. They told us that Chris had not been feeling well and was getting overheated. He decided to stay at the end of the rock wall in the shade of some trees, and so Brandon and Justin had given him some extra water and caught up with us. Without a second thought we carried on out trek, with Mike and Lacie in the back going slightly slower than the rest of us. As we jumped over rocks and crawled through crevices and climbed over boulders, the day continued to get hotter and hotter. We hit two different punch bowl, and at reaching the second one Alex decided to go ahead and find the trail to the waterfall. Despite protests from Lizzy and Jessica Shakely about going off on his own he headed off up the hills to find the trail. After a lot of hiking we arrived at a nice sloped rock overlooking the first waterfall and stopped for lunch. Mike and Lacie caught up and we could all tell that Lacie was not doing well. We ate our sandwiches and rested for awhile before heading back to the 'trail' to find our destination. Lacie and Mike decided to stay behind and rest, not sure if Lacie could make it the rest of the way. Brandon, Lizzy and I trail blazed ahead and about 20 minutes in got to a cliff. Brandon showed us a ledge with holes in the side of the cliff where we could put our hands. I starred at the cliff in horror and fear, not wanting to climb down the, in my mind, death trap. Despite my anxieties I climbed down after Lizzy and safely reached the bottom and we started on our way down to the waterfall. About 25 feet from where we reached the bottom of the cliff we stopped to wait for Justin and the two Jessica's. Brandon yelled to them the directions of how to come down, but we saw Jessica White going the wrong way. By the time they understood that she wasn't going the right way she was too far out. We watched as she lost her grip and fell backwards fifteen feet onto the rock beneath. I cannot remember if she screamed while she fell, it was so slow and quite in my mind. She hit the hot and tumbled down again onto a rock ledge where she stopped. For a second she wasn't moving and my first though was that she died. In my mind she could not have survived that. Her head and back had hit the rock with full force. In that second there was nothing but silence and we all stood stunned at what had just happened. Then she screamed. Lizzy and I looked to Brandon, who is a nurse, and told him to go to her. He nodded and started off towards her, but went the wrong way. Seeing this I felt I had no choice but to get to her as quickly as possible. She was still screaming, with Jessica Shakely and Justin yelling at her to stay calm and not to move, and I ran as quick as I could over the rocks to where she was. I wanted to move her, but Jessica and Justin yelled not to, so I gently took off her backpack and waited for Brandon who got there only seconds later. Together we moved her into a sitting position and looked over her to see what was wrong. Brandon went into emergency mode and went through general analysis, checking to make sure she could move her arms and legs (which she could), and checking her head to see how bad she had hit it (there was only a quarter size spot on her head that was bleeding). I looked behind at Lizzy who stood behind us, looking nervous and not sure what to do. Looking around I saw a clump of Jessica's hair, and glancing around saw more clumps. I didn't want Jessica to see so I picked it up and looked at Lizzy. Her eyes got big when she realized what it was, and I dropped it down off the ledge and turned back to Jessica. She kept saying that her back hurt a lot, and we tried to keep her calm. Justin and Jessica were still up on the cliff and I told Lizzy to go with to get Mike, who is an EMT. I knew he would know what to do. I didn't watch as Lizzy went back up the cliff, but stayed focused on Jessica and began to wash the rocks out her wounds. Lizzy and Jessica went to find Mike, and Justin came down to us. Jessica's arm was badly cut and bleeding, so I told Justin to take off his shirt, ripped it, and wrapped her arm with it (yes, I had secretly always wanted to do that). We got her to drink water and remain calm as we waited for Mike to join us. When he arrived he came down and did the same once over that Brandon had done. Mike told us us our two options, we could get her standing and get her to the trail head , then take her to the ER, or we could call for a helicopter to air lift her out. Jessica, being stubborn, said she would try to walk. Brandon and Mike gently lifted her to her feet. Her shoes were ripped up, and so I took off her shoes and gave her mine. After standing for a few minutes, she started to get scarred. She told us she could no longer hear us, and soon after she began to black out. Mike, realizing that her injuries were too serious to have her walk, decided to go call for a helicopter. Brandon and Mike guided her back the ground into a laying position on a slanted rock. Since the only cell phone reception was at the trail head, Mike and Justin decided to go alone and get to the cars as soon as possible to call for help and they left. Brandon, Jessica and I were left alone. Realizing it was getting very hot, and since there was no shade we kept Jessica drinking water and kept her cool. There were a few pools of water around us, and Justin had luckily (and strangely) brought a sponge which he had left with us. Brandon kept soaking up water and pouring it out on Jessica to keep her cool, and took off his shirt, dipped it in water and put it over her face so she would be shielded from the sun. I sat down next to Jessica and talked with her. She told me her whole story. She told me how she is a recovering drug addict, who had done every drug I could think of, and how her family life was hard, and how through AA she had gotten clean and found Jesus. We kept talking for about and hour and a half before we heard the helicopter coming. I stood up and helped Brandon to wave it down and it flew over us. Realizing how windy the helicopter made it we gathered all of our stuff together and I covered it with my body as Brandon sat with Jessica waiting for the medic to come down. When the man had repelled down to us the helicopter flew away and he came to check Jessica, doing the same routine that Brandon and Mike had already done and asking for a detailed description of what happened. Then he called for addition help and for a body brace. A few minutes later another helicopter came and another medic cam down followed by a body brace. Altogether we got Jessica into the body brace and then the medics hooked Jessica up and lifted her into the helicopter. They told us they were taking her to the hospital and that we would have to hike back. We nodded and they left. Brandon and I were left alone to go back to the trail head, a good two hour hike. I looked at the cliff, our first obstacle, and told Brandon I was scared to go back up it. Then I looked at the shoes on my feet, a pair Justin lent to me that he had brought. They were old Vans, that were too big on me and had no traction. I wished I had thought of getting my shoes back before they took Jessica away. Brandon let me go first and I started on my way up the cliff. The holes in the wall that I had put my hands in to get down, as I felt, were different. I reached around and could firmly grip inside the rock. With this new sense of security I reached for the next one and saw it was the same. Saying a quick 'thank you' to God I climbed up the cliff, and Brandon quickly came after me. When we reached the top I realized I was feeling tired. Not sure why, and thinking I was probably just relaxed I shook it off and followed Brandon along the trail. I stopped after a few minutes and told him I needed to stop. He told me to drink water and I realized I hadn't been drinking as much as I should have. After a short break we kept going, stopping every few minutes for water. I saw him going along the trail, which seemed different to me. I asked him if he was sure we were going the right way and he assured me we were. After awhile though I realized we had gone on the wrong trail and were much higher and further than we should have been. We went around a corner and reached another cliff. Brandon bravely went before me, figuring out the best way to get down, and I slowly followed him, relying on his to help me down rock and maneuver down slopes. Finally we reached the bottom and were at the spot we had stopped for lunch. At this point we took a break and waded in a small punch bowl there. I looked at my ankles and realized they were bleeding from the uncomfortable shoes. Hating to, but realizing the necessity I asked Brandon if I could wear his sock, which were higher and thicker. He graciously agreed and gave them to me. Although I still felt the shoes rubbing against the already bleeding skin, my ankles hurt less and we began our way through the rocks. My body felt so weak and I constantly needed to stop. I started to realize I was feeling nauseous. Telling Brandon, he suggested I eat something, and I reached for a bag of carrots and ate a few. This only made me feel worse. When we reached the next punch bowl we stopped and I threw up. All that was in my stomach, the carrots and my sandwich came up. Brandon, being used to this kind of thing, waited patiently and kept encouraging me. After getting everything out of my stomach I felt better and decided to keep going. Brandon told me to keep drinking water to stay hydrated and I obeyed. After hiking a bit longer I felt nauseous again and had to stop. I threw up again, but this time since there was no food left in me, all that came up was the water I had just drank. Again we carried on and I kept drinking water. Finally we reached the beginning of the actual trail where the rock wall was. Looking at it and knowing how had it would be to climb we took another break and I threw up again all the water I had drank. Sitting in the shade all I wanted to do was fall asleep and wake up to find all this had only been a dream. Then I heard something, like a whistle. I looked at Brandon and asked if he heard it. Being quite we heard someone yelling. They were yelling for us. Brandon yelled back, but we knew they couldn't hear us, so we began to climb up the rock wall. I went as quick as I could but only got up halfway before we needed to stop again. Brandon tried yelling again and this time they could hear us. It was Mike and Justin. They yelled down asking if we were all right. Brandon responded that we were fine. Then Mike asked if Alex was with us. Brandon looked at me, confused and upset at the same time. He yelled back asking if Mike was joking. Mike yelled back that Alex was missing. Brandon, looking angry, told me he was going to climb up the rock wall and meet up with Mike and Justin, and for me to take my time and join them when I can. He bolted away and I was left alone. Slowly I climbed up the rock wall, and determined to meet them I hiked as quick and I could to join them. Catching up, Brandon, Mike and Justin were telling one another all that had happened. Exhausted I sat down to take a break and the boys talked. Brandon was standing near me and as they talked about getting another helicopter to come find Alex I heard a phone go off in Brandon's bag. Thinking, I realized if his phone went off,t hat meant he had service, and if he had service we wouldn't have to hike to the cars to get a helicopter. Brandon looked down at his bag, and in his eyes I realized he thought the same thing. He reached into his bag and grabbed his phone. Mike took and and walking around found a spot where he had one bar of service. Quickly he called for a helicopter, told them our situation and they said they would come out at once. Then he continued to call Alex's brother to tell him what was happening. In the middle of that call, Jon called Brandon, knowing he was hiking with me. I had told Jon I would be back in Camarillo at 5, and it was now 5:30, and he hadn't been able to get a hold of me. Mike quickly brushed over the details of our day and said I would call him as soon as I had service, and went back to the call with Alex's brother. Waiting during the call I started to feel nauseous again and threw up all the water I had drank. That's it, I thought, no more water. Mike hung up the phone and told us he was going to run the rest of the way to the cars so he would have reception, and for Brandon, Justin and I to take our time finishing the hike. Mike took off, and I slowly got off the ground and we started on our way up the trail. Justin told us briefly about what had happened while we were with Jessica White. Mike and Justin had caught up with Jessica Shakely, Lizzy and Lacie. Mike had gone ahead of them and run the trail to the cars in order to call for help. Meanwhile Justin and the girls hiked normally. When they got to the rock wall they heard someone calling for help. Not knowing who it was Justin had gone to find the person, and had found Chris wandering around yelling for help. Chris told him that he had decided to go find them, but after hiking through the rocks for awhile realized he couldn't make and turned around. However, he hadn't found the rock wall and had gone past it and gotten lost. When they found him he had been yelling for help for 45 minutes. Out of energy and overheated, Justin had to carry him up parts of the trail back to the cars. Mike had also come back to them after calling for help and carried Lacie up the trail, since she was still feeling very ill. Embarrassed to ask Justin and Brandon to carry me, although they frequently offered, I kept hiking for short period before having to stop to dry heave. I kept laughing, thinking how ridiculous my body was being. I had nothing left to throw up but I kept feeling nauseous. After making the mistake of drinking water again I did throw up once more. My body was so weak, that finally I gave in and Justin carried up a steep hill, and Brandon carried me up the next hill. Meanwhile we saw the helicopter flying around looking for Alex. We had stopped for me to try and throw up again when the helicopter finally flew over us and shouted down that they and found Alex. Elated, we got up and kept hiking. Only a short distance from the trail head (about 20 minutes) the helicopter came back and one of the air support men came out. Brandon and Justin went quickly over and when I got there they told me that they were going to fly us out to the cars. Without asking why, I followed the man and got into the helicopter, followed by Brandon and Justin. We lifted off and flew the short distance to the trail head. When we landed we all got out, and I saw all of our group (except Jessica White, of course) standing waiting for us. Lizzy ran up to me, and holding back tears hugged me so hard. I tried to hug her back as tight as I could but I was so weak I could only wrap my arms gently around her, so glad to be done. Everyone was hugging, so relieved that we were all finally together again and okay. I called Jon, and getting his voice mail told him I was okay, and apologized for not being able to get a hole of his earlier. Looking at my phone i saw it was 7:30, and we had started our hike at 10:00 in the morning. We went to the cars, and one of the cops offered to take our picture. While taking it Jon called me back, and I heard him talking to someone, but I couldn't understand, then as I stood up from taking the picture, I saw him drive up. "No way, " Lizzy exclaimed. "It's Jon," Brandon said. "In his metal steed, "Lizzy joked. Jon parked near us and got out quickly. I walked over to him and hugged him, trying to keep myself together. Telling him I was okay, he asked if I wanted to go to his house, and since everyone else had decided to go to In N' Out (which I knew I didn't have the stomach to handle), I agreed. Since I could not drink water we stopped at the nearest grocery store and got Gatorade. Getting to his house I took a shower, was able to eat some plain noodles, and relaxed on his couch, only slightly conscious. He took me home around 10:00. When I got home Lizzy was still awake and we talked. Neither of us slept well that night. In the morning everyone met at our house and we drove together to the hospital to visit Jessica. She fracture two parts of her spine, but looked happy. In a few days she was standing, not needing a back brace, and on Sunday she came to church and was able to walk and stand fine. What was supposed to be a nice hike transformed into a stressful but life changing experience for all of us.
Monday July 23, 2012
The night before at church Ryan Keller had told me about a hike in the morning. He said they were leaving at 8:00 in the morning to go to the Filmore Punch Bowls. Jon and I had done that hike before but not all the way. We got about two hours in, stopped for lunch, and then decided to head back because I was tired and it was very hot. Thinking about going again, especially that early, did not tempt me. When I arrived home from church and went to bed I had no intentions of doing the hike the next day.
In the morning around 8:00 I woke up to the noise of people moving around the house. I got up and joined them. Jessica Shakely, my roommate, and her friend Jessica White were getting breakfast, all dressed for the hike. Lizzy was up too, and she decided she wanted to join them. The two of us walked into our room and I felt that I should go on the hike with them. "I want to go," I told Lizzy, "but I don't want to struggle in front of them". She reassured me that she would be with me and help me make it through the hike, so I changed and got ready to hike. Everyone showed up at our house to carpool. Altogether at the house we had Jessica, Jessica, Lizzy, Lacie, Alexis, Brandon, Chris, Alex, Justin and myself. We got lunch ready, packed tons of water, and went into the yard to pray. Together we formed a circle and prayed for protection and strength on our hike. Then we gathered and took a picture, thinking ahead of doing a before and after shot of our group. Before leaving Alexis decided not to go on the hike for personal reasons, and since we had to pick up Mike on our way we were split into two perfect groups of 5 girls and 5 guys. After an hour drive to Filmore we arrived at the trail head and got ready. Chris was already having problem, due to a condition he has which causes his body not to sweat. The sun was high and the day was already beginning to become very warm. Realizing this, and since he was wearing jeans, he took a knife and cut his pants to make shorts. When we had all applied sunscreen we took off down the trail. The majority of the first part of the trail is downhill, and easy due to the clear trail markings. After about an hour of the nice clear hike we reached the rock wall. Now, it's not exactly a rock wall, but it's a steep hill with large rocks and boulders you have to maneuver down. I was in front of everyone and go to the bottom first, followed closely by Alex and Lizzy. When we reached the bottom, the trail ended. The rest of the way was an old creek bed covered with boulders that you have to climb and jump through in order to get to the main destination, a large waterfall about an hour and a half journey ahead. The two Jessica's caught up and we began to hike through the rocky terrain. After awhile we reached a clear area and decided to take a break and wait for the others to catch up. Drinking water and taking pictures we relaxed for a little while. When Mike and Lacie caught up they informed us that Lacie was having a hard time and was not feeling great. Then Brandon and Justin caught up with us. They told us that Chris had not been feeling well and was getting overheated. He decided to stay at the end of the rock wall in the shade of some trees, and so Brandon and Justin had given him some extra water and caught up with us. Without a second thought we carried on out trek, with Mike and Lacie in the back going slightly slower than the rest of us. As we jumped over rocks and crawled through crevices and climbed over boulders, the day continued to get hotter and hotter. We hit two different punch bowl, and at reaching the second one Alex decided to go ahead and find the trail to the waterfall. Despite protests from Lizzy and Jessica Shakely about going off on his own he headed off up the hills to find the trail. After a lot of hiking we arrived at a nice sloped rock overlooking the first waterfall and stopped for lunch. Mike and Lacie caught up and we could all tell that Lacie was not doing well. We ate our sandwiches and rested for awhile before heading back to the 'trail' to find our destination. Lacie and Mike decided to stay behind and rest, not sure if Lacie could make it the rest of the way. Brandon, Lizzy and I trail blazed ahead and about 20 minutes in got to a cliff. Brandon showed us a ledge with holes in the side of the cliff where we could put our hands. I starred at the cliff in horror and fear, not wanting to climb down the, in my mind, death trap. Despite my anxieties I climbed down after Lizzy and safely reached the bottom and we started on our way down to the waterfall. About 25 feet from where we reached the bottom of the cliff we stopped to wait for Justin and the two Jessica's. Brandon yelled to them the directions of how to come down, but we saw Jessica White going the wrong way. By the time they understood that she wasn't going the right way she was too far out. We watched as she lost her grip and fell backwards fifteen feet onto the rock beneath. I cannot remember if she screamed while she fell, it was so slow and quite in my mind. She hit the hot and tumbled down again onto a rock ledge where she stopped. For a second she wasn't moving and my first though was that she died. In my mind she could not have survived that. Her head and back had hit the rock with full force. In that second there was nothing but silence and we all stood stunned at what had just happened. Then she screamed. Lizzy and I looked to Brandon, who is a nurse, and told him to go to her. He nodded and started off towards her, but went the wrong way. Seeing this I felt I had no choice but to get to her as quickly as possible. She was still screaming, with Jessica Shakely and Justin yelling at her to stay calm and not to move, and I ran as quick as I could over the rocks to where she was. I wanted to move her, but Jessica and Justin yelled not to, so I gently took off her backpack and waited for Brandon who got there only seconds later. Together we moved her into a sitting position and looked over her to see what was wrong. Brandon went into emergency mode and went through general analysis, checking to make sure she could move her arms and legs (which she could), and checking her head to see how bad she had hit it (there was only a quarter size spot on her head that was bleeding). I looked behind at Lizzy who stood behind us, looking nervous and not sure what to do. Looking around I saw a clump of Jessica's hair, and glancing around saw more clumps. I didn't want Jessica to see so I picked it up and looked at Lizzy. Her eyes got big when she realized what it was, and I dropped it down off the ledge and turned back to Jessica. She kept saying that her back hurt a lot, and we tried to keep her calm. Justin and Jessica were still up on the cliff and I told Lizzy to go with to get Mike, who is an EMT. I knew he would know what to do. I didn't watch as Lizzy went back up the cliff, but stayed focused on Jessica and began to wash the rocks out her wounds. Lizzy and Jessica went to find Mike, and Justin came down to us. Jessica's arm was badly cut and bleeding, so I told Justin to take off his shirt, ripped it, and wrapped her arm with it (yes, I had secretly always wanted to do that). We got her to drink water and remain calm as we waited for Mike to join us. When he arrived he came down and did the same once over that Brandon had done. Mike told us us our two options, we could get her standing and get her to the trail head , then take her to the ER, or we could call for a helicopter to air lift her out. Jessica, being stubborn, said she would try to walk. Brandon and Mike gently lifted her to her feet. Her shoes were ripped up, and so I took off her shoes and gave her mine. After standing for a few minutes, she started to get scarred. She told us she could no longer hear us, and soon after she began to black out. Mike, realizing that her injuries were too serious to have her walk, decided to go call for a helicopter. Brandon and Mike guided her back the ground into a laying position on a slanted rock. Since the only cell phone reception was at the trail head, Mike and Justin decided to go alone and get to the cars as soon as possible to call for help and they left. Brandon, Jessica and I were left alone. Realizing it was getting very hot, and since there was no shade we kept Jessica drinking water and kept her cool. There were a few pools of water around us, and Justin had luckily (and strangely) brought a sponge which he had left with us. Brandon kept soaking up water and pouring it out on Jessica to keep her cool, and took off his shirt, dipped it in water and put it over her face so she would be shielded from the sun. I sat down next to Jessica and talked with her. She told me her whole story. She told me how she is a recovering drug addict, who had done every drug I could think of, and how her family life was hard, and how through AA she had gotten clean and found Jesus. We kept talking for about and hour and a half before we heard the helicopter coming. I stood up and helped Brandon to wave it down and it flew over us. Realizing how windy the helicopter made it we gathered all of our stuff together and I covered it with my body as Brandon sat with Jessica waiting for the medic to come down. When the man had repelled down to us the helicopter flew away and he came to check Jessica, doing the same routine that Brandon and Mike had already done and asking for a detailed description of what happened. Then he called for addition help and for a body brace. A few minutes later another helicopter came and another medic cam down followed by a body brace. Altogether we got Jessica into the body brace and then the medics hooked Jessica up and lifted her into the helicopter. They told us they were taking her to the hospital and that we would have to hike back. We nodded and they left. Brandon and I were left alone to go back to the trail head, a good two hour hike. I looked at the cliff, our first obstacle, and told Brandon I was scared to go back up it. Then I looked at the shoes on my feet, a pair Justin lent to me that he had brought. They were old Vans, that were too big on me and had no traction. I wished I had thought of getting my shoes back before they took Jessica away. Brandon let me go first and I started on my way up the cliff. The holes in the wall that I had put my hands in to get down, as I felt, were different. I reached around and could firmly grip inside the rock. With this new sense of security I reached for the next one and saw it was the same. Saying a quick 'thank you' to God I climbed up the cliff, and Brandon quickly came after me. When we reached the top I realized I was feeling tired. Not sure why, and thinking I was probably just relaxed I shook it off and followed Brandon along the trail. I stopped after a few minutes and told him I needed to stop. He told me to drink water and I realized I hadn't been drinking as much as I should have. After a short break we kept going, stopping every few minutes for water. I saw him going along the trail, which seemed different to me. I asked him if he was sure we were going the right way and he assured me we were. After awhile though I realized we had gone on the wrong trail and were much higher and further than we should have been. We went around a corner and reached another cliff. Brandon bravely went before me, figuring out the best way to get down, and I slowly followed him, relying on his to help me down rock and maneuver down slopes. Finally we reached the bottom and were at the spot we had stopped for lunch. At this point we took a break and waded in a small punch bowl there. I looked at my ankles and realized they were bleeding from the uncomfortable shoes. Hating to, but realizing the necessity I asked Brandon if I could wear his sock, which were higher and thicker. He graciously agreed and gave them to me. Although I still felt the shoes rubbing against the already bleeding skin, my ankles hurt less and we began our way through the rocks. My body felt so weak and I constantly needed to stop. I started to realize I was feeling nauseous. Telling Brandon, he suggested I eat something, and I reached for a bag of carrots and ate a few. This only made me feel worse. When we reached the next punch bowl we stopped and I threw up. All that was in my stomach, the carrots and my sandwich came up. Brandon, being used to this kind of thing, waited patiently and kept encouraging me. After getting everything out of my stomach I felt better and decided to keep going. Brandon told me to keep drinking water to stay hydrated and I obeyed. After hiking a bit longer I felt nauseous again and had to stop. I threw up again, but this time since there was no food left in me, all that came up was the water I had just drank. Again we carried on and I kept drinking water. Finally we reached the beginning of the actual trail where the rock wall was. Looking at it and knowing how had it would be to climb we took another break and I threw up again all the water I had drank. Sitting in the shade all I wanted to do was fall asleep and wake up to find all this had only been a dream. Then I heard something, like a whistle. I looked at Brandon and asked if he heard it. Being quite we heard someone yelling. They were yelling for us. Brandon yelled back, but we knew they couldn't hear us, so we began to climb up the rock wall. I went as quick as I could but only got up halfway before we needed to stop again. Brandon tried yelling again and this time they could hear us. It was Mike and Justin. They yelled down asking if we were all right. Brandon responded that we were fine. Then Mike asked if Alex was with us. Brandon looked at me, confused and upset at the same time. He yelled back asking if Mike was joking. Mike yelled back that Alex was missing. Brandon, looking angry, told me he was going to climb up the rock wall and meet up with Mike and Justin, and for me to take my time and join them when I can. He bolted away and I was left alone. Slowly I climbed up the rock wall, and determined to meet them I hiked as quick and I could to join them. Catching up, Brandon, Mike and Justin were telling one another all that had happened. Exhausted I sat down to take a break and the boys talked. Brandon was standing near me and as they talked about getting another helicopter to come find Alex I heard a phone go off in Brandon's bag. Thinking, I realized if his phone went off,t hat meant he had service, and if he had service we wouldn't have to hike to the cars to get a helicopter. Brandon looked down at his bag, and in his eyes I realized he thought the same thing. He reached into his bag and grabbed his phone. Mike took and and walking around found a spot where he had one bar of service. Quickly he called for a helicopter, told them our situation and they said they would come out at once. Then he continued to call Alex's brother to tell him what was happening. In the middle of that call, Jon called Brandon, knowing he was hiking with me. I had told Jon I would be back in Camarillo at 5, and it was now 5:30, and he hadn't been able to get a hold of me. Mike quickly brushed over the details of our day and said I would call him as soon as I had service, and went back to the call with Alex's brother. Waiting during the call I started to feel nauseous again and threw up all the water I had drank. That's it, I thought, no more water. Mike hung up the phone and told us he was going to run the rest of the way to the cars so he would have reception, and for Brandon, Justin and I to take our time finishing the hike. Mike took off, and I slowly got off the ground and we started on our way up the trail. Justin told us briefly about what had happened while we were with Jessica White. Mike and Justin had caught up with Jessica Shakely, Lizzy and Lacie. Mike had gone ahead of them and run the trail to the cars in order to call for help. Meanwhile Justin and the girls hiked normally. When they got to the rock wall they heard someone calling for help. Not knowing who it was Justin had gone to find the person, and had found Chris wandering around yelling for help. Chris told him that he had decided to go find them, but after hiking through the rocks for awhile realized he couldn't make and turned around. However, he hadn't found the rock wall and had gone past it and gotten lost. When they found him he had been yelling for help for 45 minutes. Out of energy and overheated, Justin had to carry him up parts of the trail back to the cars. Mike had also come back to them after calling for help and carried Lacie up the trail, since she was still feeling very ill. Embarrassed to ask Justin and Brandon to carry me, although they frequently offered, I kept hiking for short period before having to stop to dry heave. I kept laughing, thinking how ridiculous my body was being. I had nothing left to throw up but I kept feeling nauseous. After making the mistake of drinking water again I did throw up once more. My body was so weak, that finally I gave in and Justin carried up a steep hill, and Brandon carried me up the next hill. Meanwhile we saw the helicopter flying around looking for Alex. We had stopped for me to try and throw up again when the helicopter finally flew over us and shouted down that they and found Alex. Elated, we got up and kept hiking. Only a short distance from the trail head (about 20 minutes) the helicopter came back and one of the air support men came out. Brandon and Justin went quickly over and when I got there they told me that they were going to fly us out to the cars. Without asking why, I followed the man and got into the helicopter, followed by Brandon and Justin. We lifted off and flew the short distance to the trail head. When we landed we all got out, and I saw all of our group (except Jessica White, of course) standing waiting for us. Lizzy ran up to me, and holding back tears hugged me so hard. I tried to hug her back as tight as I could but I was so weak I could only wrap my arms gently around her, so glad to be done. Everyone was hugging, so relieved that we were all finally together again and okay. I called Jon, and getting his voice mail told him I was okay, and apologized for not being able to get a hole of his earlier. Looking at my phone i saw it was 7:30, and we had started our hike at 10:00 in the morning. We went to the cars, and one of the cops offered to take our picture. While taking it Jon called me back, and I heard him talking to someone, but I couldn't understand, then as I stood up from taking the picture, I saw him drive up. "No way, " Lizzy exclaimed. "It's Jon," Brandon said. "In his metal steed, "Lizzy joked. Jon parked near us and got out quickly. I walked over to him and hugged him, trying to keep myself together. Telling him I was okay, he asked if I wanted to go to his house, and since everyone else had decided to go to In N' Out (which I knew I didn't have the stomach to handle), I agreed. Since I could not drink water we stopped at the nearest grocery store and got Gatorade. Getting to his house I took a shower, was able to eat some plain noodles, and relaxed on his couch, only slightly conscious. He took me home around 10:00. When I got home Lizzy was still awake and we talked. Neither of us slept well that night. In the morning everyone met at our house and we drove together to the hospital to visit Jessica. She fracture two parts of her spine, but looked happy. In a few days she was standing, not needing a back brace, and on Sunday she came to church and was able to walk and stand fine. What was supposed to be a nice hike transformed into a stressful but life changing experience for all of us.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
The Future
The word for how I am feeling: anxious. I am not alone in this, but sometimes it feels like I am more stressed than those around me. Or at least they are hiding it better. At this point in my life I'm starting to wonder if I'm ever not going to be stressed. In my ethics class we were asked what we needed in life to be happy. Most people (including myself) said things like a career, a doctorate, or financial stability. Of course as I said it, I didn't believe it. There is always something more. When I was in high school, I just wanted to graduate and then I would be happy. In junior college I just wanted to get into a CSU and then I would be happy. Now I feel like if I get into grad school, then I will be happy. I know this isn't true though. I will get to grad school and think, once I get my doctorate I will be happy. Then once I get my doctorate it will be opening my own practice. Then it will be traveling. Then I will have kids and my worries about school will surface again in their lives. Once they get though high school. Once they get through college. It's a never ending cycle of "once this happens then..."
I think my problem is my priorities. Happiness is not something that is constant, it is always dependent upon something. Contentment, however, can be a steady thing. If something doesn't happen, and I don't get that happiness I was longing for, will I be depressed or can I learn to be content and move on. I remember freaking out one night about the future as my anxiety over school and the unknown built up. Then a friend of mine stopped me and said "why are you so worried? Don't you realize that you're only 21. You can still do whatever you want. You don't have to have it all figured out." Bam! Right there was something wonderful. The idea that I don't have control of the future, but I shouldn't be worried about it. If one thing doesn't work out, there are endless opportunities to try something else. I can travel, I can work a crappy job, I can try different career, I can go to grad school and study, I can do anything (well not anything, but lots of things). My future isn't a single path, it is a tree with every decision branching off down a new way towards different choices. If one thing goes wrong it isn't the end of the line. I'm not taking a long walk off a short pier, I'm wandering in the woods. And no matter what happens or where I go, I know that my life is meaningful. God doesn't make mistakes, and I know I am on Earth for a reason. Even if it isn't what I expect, I trust Him. If I were to die tomorrow I know that my life had a purpose. That is the point of everything. Whatever we are suffering through, it is eventually going to end and we will join God and never have to suffer again. Everything is temporary on Earth. But what we do can have long effect on the lives of others, and we can help bring God's kingdom to those around us. It is comforting to view my life not as in what I am failing or succeeding at doing for myself, but for God. I feel as if I'm rambling on and figuring out my own thoughts as I'm writing this so please forgive me if you don't get the point I'm trying to make. I'm just trying to understand the perspectives of my future. When I see it as something I have control over, and that when I fail I become a failure, I get stressed and depressed. But when I trust that God has great plans for my life and whatever happens in the end, He loves me and will bring me home, I can rest knowing that my happiness is not the goal of life, because if it was I would never reach it.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
In the end.
If I were to die right now, I think I would be okay with that. My life is something I can be proud of up to this moment, not that I don't have regrets, just that I feel I have accomplished a lot. However, if I don't die right now, there are some things I still want to do. This is my list of things to do before I kick the bucket.
Visit the Pyramids in Egypt.
See the Aurora Borealis.
Read the Entire Bible.
Learn to: Scuba Dive.
Visit all 7 Continents.
Dress up like a Hippie and Protest.
See
Kiss the Man I Love under the Eiffel Tower(and in the rain, preferably at the same time).
Do Missions Work in Foreign Country (again).
Write a Book.
Learn Falconry
Become Fluent in a Second Language
Stand on Machu Picchu
Audition to Be In a Movie
Get My Doctorate
Walk on the Great Wall of China.
Visit the Galapagos Islands
Stay the night in a castle
Ride in a Hot Air Balloon
Hang glide
to be continued....
Visit the Galapagos Islands
Stay the night in a castle
Ride in a Hot Air Balloon
Hang glide
to be continued....
Monday, March 28, 2011
Awake My Soul
Introduction:
At church last tonight the pastor tried something new with us. He would read a verse and have us meditate on it for a few minutes then move onto the next one and repeat. I've done meditation in the Word before, but what happened to me last night was....bizarre. It probably stemmed from the fact that I was extremely emotionally drained and during worship beforehand I thought I was going to pass out from exhaustion so I prayed for the Holy Spirit to fill me and give me strength to make it through the night. When you ask, He provides, so when the pastor had us meditate I went into a complete dream state and...well...this is what I saw.
Part One:
"Meditate on this for a few minutes" he says:
Colossians 3:5-6 "Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming."
I open my eyes and I am standing in a hallway. I look to my right, then to my left and I know exactly where I am. The Hotel. This is where I was in the dream I had awhile back. Suddenly I realize what that means: it is here. From the vents I see the dark smoke pouring in and I panic, I don't want it to get me. So I begin to run. I look at the elevator and know that it can get through the shaft so I need to take the stairs. I take off, throwing open the door to the stairway and make my ascent. I keep running up the stairs, not paying attention to my heavy breathing or sore muscles, I just have to get away from the smoke. It's coming for me. It wants me. I hear evil laughing coming from below me and look over the edge. The red eyes of the evil creature are staring at me. My heart beats so fast I think it might explode, but I keep running. Then I hit a door, and realize there are no more stairs. I fling open the door and run into a hallway much like the one I started in. There is no escape. This is the end of the road. I wrap my arms around myself as if they would shield me from the darkness that is slowly filling the room. The smoke surrounds me, swirling around, taunting me with all the evil within myself. "You want him" a voice teases. "You want to touch him" another speaks over my shoulder. "You are evil" "You want to hurt them" "You want to cause pain" "You want to give up" "Give into us" "It's easier just to give in" "Let us take control"
I can't stand it any longer and fall to my knees crying. I can't take much more, their voices are haunting me and the darkness is overtaking me.
"God," I cry out "Help me"
As soon as the words escape my lips fire surrounds me. I look up from my tears and the fire is pushing back the darkness. The voices are screaming now. The fire is creating a shield around me, not touching me, just blocking the darkness from me. Slowly I stand up and feel the power of God around me. I put out my hands and fire shoots from them, pushing to darkness from the room and setting the room aflame. I walk down the staircase, forcing the darkness away with every step. I get to the first hallway and walk out of the hotel, still on fire. When I get to the end of the street I turn around and see the hotel crumbling in flames. The fire around me goes out and I fall on my knees and watch the hotel crash to the ground, smoke and ash covering the entire street.
Part 2
Colossians 3:8-10 "But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of the Creator."
I'm kneeling in the street, relieved that I made it though, that the darkness did not overtake me. As I watch the smoke come up from the remains of the hotel I see it building until I see the creature towering over. It laughs again and then disappears. I sigh, realizing I am safe. Then something hits me from behind and I fall down on the ground unconscious.
When I awake I stand up and look down at myself. My clothes, my hair, my shoes and my entire self are covered in ash and the breathe I exhale is the color of the smoke lingering in the air. I walk over to one of the buildings and brush away the ash covering a window. My reflection stares back at me with red eyes full of hatred. I scream and run. The darkness that I didn't want on me is now in me, has consumed my body. My mind is fighting it, trying to keep it from taking over. I have to be clean or I won't stand a chance. I run and run crying and fighting to keep the darkness from taking over and controlling me and then I see it. The ocean. I can make it. My whole body is throbbing with pain, I want to destroy everything I see, I am hollow and empty and feel as if happiness is a distant dream that I will never see again. I want to rip off my skin, cut myself to relieve the aching. I try to brush off the ash as I make my way to the ocean but it only spreads more. The darkness inside realizes what I am doing and forces me to the ground inches from the water, and I lay writhing in pain. There is nothing left in me. I am hungry. I am thirsty. A wave reaches near me and I reach out, scooping up some water and dripping it into my mouth. The saltiness makes me gag and I feel more thirsty than before.
"Jesus," I hoarsely whisper with the little energy I have, "I need you."
A drop of water hits my face and I look to the sky. Clouds are rushing in and more and more drops come until the sky has opened up and rain is pouring down. The ash is beginning to wash off and I look down at myself. Slowly I am becoming clean. I need to get it all off of me, I think. I start to rip off the black clothes and my ash covered shoes. With every last bit of strength I stand up and hobble into the ocean and let it wash me clean. I get deeper and deeper till it engulfs me.
Part 3:
Colossians 3:12-14 "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."
I awake under water. My feet hit the ocean floor and I push off, propelling to the surface. As I come up I gasp for air as if it were my first breathe. The sun is shining over me and the sky is the most perfect blue I have ever seen. My arms, full of strength and energy begin to dig into the water in graceful strokes. I soon feel the sand under my feet and walk out the ocean onto the beach. When I am out of the water completely I look at myself. I am perfectly clean, wearing a white dress and no shoes. I start to laugh. I laugh so hard I cry. I can barely stand so I kneel down and run my hands over the warm sand. When I bring them up again there is a blue spark coming off of my palms. At first I am confused and stand, prepared to run. Then the spark turns into fire and the blue flames cover my hands and runs up my arms. It doesn't hurt, it's not even hot. It tingles. The flames are not around me this time but on me. They are part of me. I start laughing again until my entire body is covered in the blue flames. I look out at the ocean and see the sun setting so I start to walk towards it, following the shoreline. I am dancing and twirling and singing. Then I see blue flames in the distance. Full of energy I run to them. I find a group of people dancing together, all of them covered in blue flames, laughing and singing and showing love to everyone. When they see me they pull me into their dance and I gladly join them and we dance all night.
Finally the sun comes up again and I look at the person to the right of me and ask "Now what?"
The person looks into the sun and reply "Now you go back into the world."
The person to my left smiles at me and says, "But this time, you're not alone."
We get up and walk back to the street that had been covered in ash the day before which is now clean and bright. The blue flame within me flows out in a line down the street. I watch it burn a path.
A person comes up beside me, their flame going in the same direction as mine. "Now we follow the light." They grab my hand and we start our journey.
Conclusion:
This was all very vivid in my mind while it was happening, like it was actually happening (I may have even been laughing or crying at some points). The first part was very frightening, in fact I wanted to open my eyes and not participate in this meditation because I was so afraid, but alas, I followed through with it and the end was worth it. There's quite a bit of imagery in it (ash=sin and blue flames=Holy Spirit) but I understood it all, and it was...amazing. God has rarely in my life spoken to me through dreams or visions, so this felt like such a gift from Him. From my weakness I got a beautiful picture of His strength.
God is so good.
Monday, February 14, 2011
February 14th
Saint Valentine's Day
Singles Awareness Day
Demon Day
Crappy-Little-Hearts-That-Taste-Like-Chalk Day
Hopeless Romantics Recognition Day
Oh, how I love thee let me count ways: with flowers (that will soon die) and chocolates (that will make you gain weight). Stuffed bears (that are cheap and will mean nothing to you in a few months once I've moved onto someone else), little sweet nothings (that Hallmark thought of and I don't have the originality to think of anything better) and for the rest of us....Ben&Jerry's, because nothing takes away the sting of being alone like Chunky Monkey.
Oh
Sorry
I forgot
I'm trying to be content with my singleness.
Still, Valentine's day has always rubbed me the wrong way. Yes, Saint Valentine is a super awesome dead guy that, if rumors are correct, embodied the image cupid by marrying couples that were not allowed to get married and thus making this holiday one of love and romance. However, how many people actually know that? Or think about that on V-Day? Not many.
So what is Valentine's Day? Well, as I see it, it is the one day out the of year that forces couples to treat each other like they are the center of their world.
Umm, it might just be me, but shouldn't that be a bit more often than one day out of the year (okay, two if you include anniversaries)?
One girl I was talking to said her husband bought her flowers the other day, "Just because it was a Monday."
That right there is what romancing each other should be!
Not having to do that once a year because of a Hallmark Holiday.
Loving each other because you can. Showing affection at all times. Buying a girl flowers when she seems down. Saying "I love you" in spontaneous and random ways that aren't written on a fluffy pink card. Making each other dinner and lighting candles because the sky is clear and the stars are shining. A continuous romance and journey of love.
I apologize
This holiday makes me vent
Sorry for being such a hopeless romantic
Have a Wonderful St. Valentine's Day
Go Tell Someone They Are Special
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