On Sunday we talked about how we get thrown into pits in life, and it's God's way of shaping us. That these pits are for our own good, and how we should use this pain to grow closer to God.
I'm in a season where I'm waiting and stressing and partially going out of my mind because my entire future is in three letters, and I have no idea when I will get them! It's this constant nagging in my mind that eats at me at all hours of the day. I want to make plans. I want to have some sort of direction. It feels like I'm on the edge of a cliff, and I can see the water, and I just want to jump, but I'm stuck. And not just stuck, but it's 120 degrees outside and I'm getting attacked by birds. All I want to do is jump off that damn cliff!
Not only that, but I'm alone. I feel so alone.
So, I'm supposed to find God in this? This is Him shaping me?
Well, I hope I find him soon, because this is not looking good for my mental health.
You're not alone.
ReplyDeleteIf He's not there, which is highly unlikely because I'm sure He's got us flagged after our murder conversation, but if you feel like He's not, know that I am, even if I'm too far away to actually seem like it.
I love you.